Where do I fit in the world?

A fascinating blog post. Where do we fit in the world? How special is each individual? What is our purpose?

https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-a-nobody-72ceeb078373

Humble vs Narcissitic Leaders

Very interesting post from the Harvard Business Review

https://hbr.org/2017/04/if-humble-people-make-the-best-leaders-why-do-we-fall-for-charismatic-narcissists

Default

Humans are creatures of habit who are influenced by their environments. We are biologically wired for survival.

Human nature is to find the smoothest means of success within our present environment. We will always look to find the “path of least resistance” towards our goal. The easiest route to success is not always the one that is in our best interest.

Is it easier to work out at lunchtime or wake up 30 minutes earlier and do it in the morning? Is it easier to pick up a pizza or cook a well-rounded meal?

The first step to growth and self-improvement is understanding that your default is the path of least resistance and choosing to make the decision that you know is in your best interest. In the words of the Cadet Prayer – “Make us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong, and never be content with a half truth when a whole can be won.”

Why I Coach: Relationships

There are many reasons why I coach. Probably too many to get into all of them. This morning, I had reason to pause and consider one of them while responding to an email from someone I’ve known for over 10 years – and only because of the sport of hockey.

After my freshman year of college I seized an opportunity to work at a hockey camp in Nisswa, Minnesota – Minnesota Hockey Camps. Since that summer, I’ve spent 9 summers in the Brainerd Lakes Area as either a counselor or a coach, coaching, mentoring and working with young people from all areas of the country. Anyone who’s ever spent time at MHC will tell you it’s a very special place filled with special people.

One of the people that I met there is now playing college hockey on the East Coast. We got to know each other through MHC, first working as counselor & camper, then as co-workers at the camp as we aged. When it came time to look at colleges, she asked me for some schools to look at, as she was considering going somewhere out east. I was someone from outside of the normal circles and someone who had experience in other parts of the country. I value the experience of moving away from home and meeting new people, as it was a huge part of my growth and development as a young man and something that I think has immense benefits.

Yesterday, I received an email from her. Last week I ran into her men’s coaches and asked about her and how she was doing. It was so cool to hear how happy she was, how much she was enjoying her experience and she was thankful for my help in finding a college. She has had a good career with a growing program and helped them find new levels of success. To read that email and know that I had an impact on her life is a very special feeling and one you don’t get after a game.

As a coach, you impact many people’s lives on a daily basis but you don’t always truly know the impact of your words and actions. The ability to motivate, inspire and mentor young people is an opportunity and responsibility that coaches have every day and one that is often taken far too lightly. Meetings may only last for 15 minutes, practices for an hour and games for two, but these relationships that we build can last a lifetime.

The impact of that email that I read this morning cannot be understated – it hit me at a time when I needed it most (as these things usually do) and helped to remind me of one of my core values as a coach. Relationships. Building, maintaining and cultivating relationships is at the very core of who I am and what I do. Why do I coach? Because of the email that I see

Why do I coach? Because of the email that I receive from an old friend thanking me for my influence in her life.

Why I Love Cooking

When you cook, you can’t really do anything else.

There is no multi-tasking, no multiple internet windows, no phone calls, no emails. Just you and the food.

Cooking requires concentration, focus and single-mindedness. Otherwise you might use a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon. You might overcook the onions. You could skip a step.

I love cooking because I get fully into what I’m doing and forget everything else. It’s hard to say that cooking is stress free, as getting everything to be ready at the exact same time takes preparation, foresight and experience. When I cook, I reduce my overall stress level as everything else goes out the window.

I don’t cook nearly as much as I should, but I did start today by preparing some pulled pork for a dinner tonight with my defensemen. A great way to kick off the week, although I’m not sure I advise chopping an onion before 6:30 in the morning…

Brad Stevens

Brad Stevens of the Boston Celtics is widely regarded as one of the best and brightest minds in coaching today. Two articles in the last week have started to pull back some of the layers surrounding Brad and what makes him successful.

ESPN’s TrueHoop did this piece on him last week, and the Boston Globe profiled him yesterday.

Two things stand out to me from the articles. First, in the ESPN piece, Kyrie Irving made the statement that “…every single possession matters to him”. Second, Brad himself says in the Globe article that, “…the magic is in the work.”

Two small snippets from the stories that illustrate Brad’s commitment to work and his understanding that every detail matters.

Why Busy Isn’t Productive

We rush around every day in a quest to win the busy trophy. A great read here by Ashley Read about why that’s the wrong approach.

The Unimportance of Almost Everything

What I’m Learning from House of Cards

I’ve recently gotten hooked on the Netflix series House of Cards. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.

While I’m enjoying the series as something to relax and shut the brain off with, I am also fascinated by Kevin Spacey’s character Frank Underwood.

Frank is as Machiavellian as they come, seeing life as something to be manipulated in your favor and every interaction as a win or a loss. He is ruthless in his pursuit of power and willing to win at any cost. His ability to manipulate and use people is something you don’t see every day, and he freely discards people when they no longer serve his purpose.

While Frank’s morality and ethics leave a lot to be questioned, there are some traits about him that I appreciate and can learn from.

First and foremost is his ability to plan. Everything he does has a purpose, especially his conversations with his colleagues. He anticipates how people are going to react to the things he does and says. His actions and words are done to prod, provoke and bring out a reaction. While it is never explicitly stated, he has an endgame and an objective in mind at all times.

As coaches, it is very easy to fall into the trap of acting according to how you feel/reacting to what others do or say. The master coach is one who is always planning and looking to manipulate (in a positive fashion) the team to create the best conditions for success. Conversations with players, reactions in practice, decisions in games. The master coach is very precise and understands what will bring out the desired result.

Frank Underwood is relentless in the pursuit of his objectives. He is willing to sacrifice anything and anyone around him that might help him achieve his goals. He is ruthless and not afraid to make hard decisions.

Coaching is a people driven business. But it is also one that requires coaches to make hard decisions in pursuit of their objectives. Playing time, lineup, roster, recruiting – all areas that require a coach to say no or tell someone they aren’t good enough. While coaches should never discard people on their teams, they should be ready to make the hard decisions that will move them closer to their objectives.

Pardon the pun, but Frank has a lot of frank conversations in his job. While it is very much part of what he does, it seems as though he spends most of his day in a confrontation with someone. This is an unnatural human state – we can be hostile and confrontational for a time, but humans are programmed to be at ease for the majority of their day. Frank is not afraid of this aroused state and embraces most of the battles head on.

Confrontation, especially with a colleague or someone you like (friend, co-worker, spouse) is never easy. But it is a necessary part of life and when used properly can help to mend relationships and fix things that aren’t working well. Often, people try to avoid or hide from confrontation, ignoring people or ducking the problem. Facing issues head on, embracing the confrontation and looking to grow from it is the best way to handle it. Frank’s ability to be upfront, honest and blunt about what he wants is a refreshing reminder about the value of confrontation and how it can be beneficial when used properly.

While I just hit on a few key themes from Frank Underwood’s character, there are dozens of things in House of Cards that any leader can learn from. A fascinating drama that shows what the world of politics looks like and might also help you become a better coach.

The Value of Habits

Habits – they seem to be everywhere. Do you make your bed? Brush your teeth? Keep your room clean? The list goes on…

To me, habits are the little things that stand between success and failure. The little things that are the big things. Life is lived on the margins, the line between “making it” and not is so fine. Habits are what will ultimately separate the wheat from the chaff.

There are a lot of people in the world all trying to achieve things. Professionally, there are thousands of people who are trying to climb the ladder. A lot of people can do a lot of jobs, so what’s the difference between those who make it and those who don’t?

It comes down to habits – take care of your habits and you will take care of business.

What Does it Take?

Time. It takes time.

Success, achieving your goals, finding your way. It all takes time.

Long hours, short nights, early mornings.

If you want to achieve your goals, get to where you want to be, it takes time.

Time spent learning. Time spent growing. Time spent failing. Time spent exposing yourself to criticism. Time spent succeeding. Time.

Want to find success in life (however you define it)? It takes time.